What is your why and can you improve it?

In psychiatrists and therapist terms our why is one of the most important aspects of our psyche, it feeds our flight and fight response with the emotion that will make us step forward or step backwards.
Of course our real why is intangible in conscious terms which is why it is so hard for most people to find it, instead they come up with more tangible terms, such as “well I want to be a millionaire”, or “I want a house or a car”. These are easy terms and although they seem to have a tangible outcome, they are also quite weak and meaningless.

When I work with people who want to give up smoking for example, they say the same thing, and give tangible reasons: to save money, for my health, its too expensive and ect. These are tangible reasons and they are not adequate reason to give up smoking. Do you know what is an intangible reason to smoke, as ironic as it sounds people have experienced so much pain, hardship and expense in smoking they almost resent giving it up. That pain from smoking has caused them so much pain and expense, discomfort, ill health and misery that their subconscious mind has a fit when they try to give up. The subconscious you makes you tired grouchy and irritable, it annoys your family and friends and makes you feel like such a victim that it convinces you to smoke again.
This is the same with anything that you try to change in your life, unless you figure out your why, you need to really figure out what is your why for changing and then your subconscious mind will take action to give it to you.
To rule truly is to serve and this is exactly what your subconscious does for you, It rules you by serving, and you can’t fool it with tangible goals like I want a million dollars, not unless you have already experienced the emotion of already having had a million dollars. This is why people who have had money always find a way of getting it back if they lose it, because their subconscious mind knows what it feels like.
Your why needs to be intangible and filled with emotion, it’s a feeling you get when you experience something that really resonates with you. For some people the shock and horror of coughing up blood can make them stop smoking in an instance. For others it may be the thought of carrying their shopping up a flight of stairs and not feeling out of breath. Or being able to run about and play with their children without having to sit and relax, or watch from the side while they play with somebody else’s parent.

So don’t just wish for a house, visualise and think about coming home, driving up the drive to your house, parking outside with your partner and or children there to greet you. Sitting eating a family meal or a meal with friends, laughing and joking, not feeling any pressure about bills or finances. Give your subconscious mind enough thoughts and plant seeds with daily meditation and day dreaming and your subconscious mind will drive to action.